I don't feel enough for you to cry (oh well) here's a lullaby to close your eyes (goodbye)
I'd been avoiding Grace's room for a little only cause I knew that nothin' had changed and Alec was already in there. My memories of what happened last time Grace was in a coma were only all too clear. It's weird, I lost myself for days to the First Slayer but I can still see it all so fucking clearly. First I was in the shower and then I was her, and all I could remember was the fear reflected back in Angel and Harry's eyes. I liked it.

I shook away the memories, and after I had distracted myself by tryin' to comfort Tyler I ended up pacing the hallways at the hospital since Lily woke up. All of those who were gonna recover from their injuries were already awake and the ones who hadn't were already dead. That was, all except for my sister. She was still sound asleep in the ICU and the docs couldn't tell me jack about her or her baby. What's a girl to do besides roam around the wing of the hospital? I peeked in on Molly to make sure she was alright and she was awake and talking to her boyfriend so I didn't stay. I'd also checked in on Cordelia who for some reason was hangin' out with Kennedy, and also Fred, Dawn and Connor who were all recovering. That only left Grace.

The battle was still heavy on my mind as I walked around and looked in on people. My dad was an evil bastard and for as much as I always thought about him, always wanted my dad to just show up one day and rescue me from my psycho of a mom, as much as I wanted to love me I realized that Lena had been right all along. We were better off without him. I wasn't sad about James, no, in fact I was just relieved that he wasn't around destroying my life at every other fucking turn. The problem was that I hadn't actually managed to kill my father, and as far as I knew destroying him was actually impossible. The only thing I'd done was shove him back into the hell where he should have stayed. Somehow I had the feeling I hadn't seen the last of him.

It was my mother that was occupying my mind. My sister had always come down so hard on me for trying to give Lena a second chance, a third chance, a five hundredth chance. I couldn't help it, she was my mom and I just always kept thinkin' she would do the right thing eventually. Towards the end I'd stopped believing in her, probably something I should've done a wicked long time ago. But in the end she proved me right when she threw herself on that sword so that the three of us could could finish what we'd started. I didn't know if she knew that James would refuse to bring her back but I like to think she did know it. I had the feeling James would show up again someday to cause more trouble but I knew that Lena was gone for good this time. I had the feeling wherever she was, she knew it too. Bye Mom.

And through all the shit something maybe good might have come from it all. There was Tyler, obviously. I'd stopped believing in God the minute I caught Father Patrick back in Boston molesting one of the choirboys at church but Tyler almost changed my mind. He was as close to a blessing that I'd ever known. But then there was Serenity, and the truth was I hadn't really had a lot of time to get to know her or to even think about her. She was new in my life and just happened to show up at a time where everything was wicked chaotic. Now that the war was over I'd have the chance to get to know my older sister. What I did know that was even though James had tormented her for years he hadn't really gotten his claws into her, and neither had my mother. That was kinda nice.

I decided to push my thoughts aside and walked into Grace's room where Alec was still standing over her bed with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Hey." I nodded at him.

"Hey."

With a deep sigh I sat down in the hard plastic chair by her bed and looked at her. I knew it was selfish. A lot of good people died today but if my sister would just wake up, if she'd just open her eyes I'd feel like this wasn't all for nothin'. Like we had actually won. I'd feel better about the whole thing if she'd just open her eyes.


(Grace & Alec)